Mommy Game Continued

As I said, the previous post was satire, although I find myself playing the Mommy Game far too often. There are so many days when I want to quit, lock myself in the bathroom, feel like a failure, or long to sleep until they grow out of "this stage." I compare myself to other mothers, to my ideal, and to my own mother and come up short every time.

That is the nasty lie behind the game. You can't win. Every time you play, you will lose, because it is all based in lies and comparisons.

When I find myself tallying my points for the day, fretting over the outcome of my children, or just feeling like I am a mess-up, I remind myself (or someone reminds me) of these things.

• If your child knows that he is loved, he will be able to understand God's love.
• God can work in your child, in spite of you, as well as through you. Just because you fail, doesn't mean God will.
• Your child not turning out the way you plan/hope, does not mean that your efforts were in vain or that you are a failure.
• You are not in control of the choices your child makes. They are an individual before God. You get to help them understand that, not control them.
• IT IS NOT ABOUT ME! Parenting is not about making me look or feel good. It is about fostering relationships, with my children and helping them build relationships with God. And there, I can lead the way, but I cannot make them have a relationship with God. That is their choice and what they choose is not necessarily a reflection of my parenting.
• Love them. Listen to them. Let them love you. Be present.
• Remember God loves you and is your Father. Listen to the way he "parents" you.

These are my reminders. I am writing them down so I can read them again on another rough day. And I am sure there are others reminders that I need to hear. Feel free to share them because it seems that all parents struggle with playing some version of the Mommy Game and we all need reminders of the Truth to tell ourselves when surrounded by the lies of comparisons.