Thankfulness!

The last half of the month didn't go as planned. It was the little things that messed me up, like not sleeping, or not getting the dishes done, or forgetting and double booking. Everything that had to get done, got done. I spent more time cuddling boys and reading books. I planned a baby shower. I wrote many emails and planned many things for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I wrote Sunday School Lesson Plans. But I didn't write very much for my blog.

However, on this last day of November, only an hour before it is December, I wanted to write one last time. This month, Eamon learned to enjoy coloring and drawing. He cried when I made him get ready for bed instead of finish his picture. This month Malcolm became more verbal. I will remind him to use his words and he actually can express himself. This month, I got my hair cut. I enjoyed being a mom of two boys. I enjoyed planning things with my brother's wife. I got to visit with my sister (and her husband) and my brother (and his fiancé) and my cousins, all who live far enough away that I don't see them very often! I realized I should not be Sunday School Superintendent next year, but I have a lot to offer in helping the transition. This month, Thomas covered all our windows with plastic to help keep out the cold. He read lots to me and had lots of headaches. This month we celebrated our 10th anniversary and took our first family vacation.

I am thankful for this month with all its mess-up plans and lack of energy, just as I am thankful for what did happen and the good times we had. I am thankful for my family and my friends. And I am thankful for God's Love and the way he is teaching me to not dwell in guilt, but to live and love freely.

Busy Week

It can get discouraging after looking at a week fill up with busyness. Shopping, Sunday School, Hair Donation, Operation Christmas Child, car battery, meal prep, laundry, cleaning, sister coming home, sister-in-law's baby shower, Thanksgiving prep... But as I look at the list, each of those things are not that bad, and some of them are just amazingly happy!

Planning is good, but after making plans, I always have to remind myself, "Don't worry about three steps ahead. Just take the next step. God gives grace in the moment for the moment. Everything that has to get done, will get done."

And I have to remind myself the most important things are ones that cannot be planned. Those moments when relationships are built, love is shown, quiet is listened to, beauty is seen. Relationships are not efficient. Love doesn't fit into a time frame. Quiet cannot be forced and Beauty can easily be missed.

So this busy week, I am praying that God will allow me to get things done with an attitude of listening and the grace to be interrupted. That he will remind me to notice my husband and my children and take the time to build relationships with them. And that he will help me resist getting caught in my own little world of getting stuff done. Amen.

Vacation!

We decided it was time to take a family vacation. We have vacationed with extended family and have loved it. We have taken day trips with friends, with family, and even a few with just our little family. But this was the first real family vacation Thomas and I have planned.

Even though we have come to a resort and indoor water park, we almost feel like we are "camping". I brought most of our food. The beds are uncomfortable. You have to walk a long way to get anywhere. And we have a fireplace in our room.

We are having a fun time, especially in the water. The boys love splashing and sliding and floating around. The smiles as they come down the slides are amazing, but since we have no waterproof cameras, we have no pictures. The wave pool was a big hit today, and they didn't want to leave even after getting bowled over by the waves and having water cover their faces. There is no end to the fun things you can do in the water, but it makes you very tired.

So the boys napped really well...all of us really... But now that it is bedtime, sleep is being fought like it is a dragon. There is just too much to look forward to, and remember, and to imagine. And it doesn't help that the beds don't feel like home.

One more morning, and it will be a happy memory, filled with fun times and lots of splashing.

Bow and Arrow

We received a bow and arrow set as a gift for Eamon. It now might be one of his favorite toys. After showing him several times how to shoot it, he went off and practiced, and practiced, and practiced until finally he got it. We are still working on form and speed and accuracy, but he can put the arrow on the string, pull back, and let it go.

This may seem like a very simple task. But after watching him work at it so long, I have realized how complicated it is and how many different things he has to be paying attention to at the same time. I am so proud of his persistence and patience. I now walk around the house and find suction cup arrows sticking to the wall.

He also likes using the arrows for lots of other things. "Bangers" because they make a pleasant and fierce "tap, tap, tap" when he hits the wall or boxes with them. "Swippers" when he swings them through the air fast. I have even seen him using them as a violin and bow. Unfortunately we have also discovered that they really hurt when you get hit with them.

I made him (and his buddy, who also has a bow and arrow set) a quiver. He doesn't quite get how to wear it, but whatever works... (I will have to see if I can get some pictures, but it is too late tonight.)

Poem Rant

Words Hurt

But it is ok to be snarky to stupid people
Especially those who are stupid to me

And I can mock those I disagree with
Especially if they have ridiculed me.

And it is fine to be nasty to those who have hurt me
But especially to those who have hurt people I love.

Do unto others, THEY say,
As you would have them do to you.
But do unto others, THEY do,
As they have done to you.

So
Let me condemn the racist and homophobe
And mock the ignorant and conservative

Because they have condemned and mocked me.

And
Let me scorn the sinners and unrighteous
And scoff at the ignorant and liberal

Because they have scorned and scoffed at me.

Words Hurt
Which is why
I will use them
As weapons

Hair Cut!

I got my hair cut off! It was down to my waist but now it doesn't even touch my shoulders... unless I scrunch them up.

We are going away this week to an indoor water park, and I didn't want to have to deal with long hair not drying or being in the way all the time, so I cut it off. Also, I've heard that some of the ICS girls are cutting their hair at the end of the month and donating it. So I will add my hair to their donation.

When I got home from getting my hair cut, Eamon and Malcolm were playing and not really paying attention, so I got the braid out of my bag and asked Eamon what I had in my hand. He looked at it then he looked at me and laughed, "Your hair!" Then Malcolm wanted me to touch it.

Overall, they don't seem too phased by it. They might even like it if you count complete acceptance of it as "like." But a little later Thomas told me that Eamon took the braid to him with a concerned face and asked. "How did they get it off of her like this?" I think he was afraid that it hurt me or something because whenever he pulls on my hair I say "ouch!"

I don't have a good picture of it short yet, but when I do, I will post a before/after shot.

Introverts

I am an introvert, although probably closer to the center of the introvert/extrovert spectrum. I am married to an introvert, who is much more introverted. Our children are also on the introverted end of the spectrum. The past few weeks and days I have been more tuned in to their need for solitude.

Eamon seems to be more like I am; we need people often, but they take a lot of energy and we need to be alone to get refreshed. Almost every morning he asks who we are going to see that day. He wants to play with his friends almost every day, but after about an hour, he needs a break for a little before he is ready to play some more. When he doesn't take or get the break, he gets very nasty and crazy, but even 15 minutes of book time will rejuvenate him.

Malcolm is a little more of a classic introvert. He doesn't want to play with friends unless he has a way out. He doesn't like people in his space - whether that is his house, or his room, or touching him - unless it is the person he wants - which is usually me, but sometimes Daddy is the only answer. If he is overwhelmed, he will hide inside his shirt or under his blanket. If you get invited under the blanket, you are a very special person.

Eamon however is a very sensitive soul and very sensitive to physical stimuli also. Textures and sounds bother him. Sad faces, nasty words, and shouting all upset him deeply. It seems when he feels something, he feels it stronger than most people. A small pain really hurts. A disappointment is crushing. He also has a very heightened sense of justice. I know part of that is being a child learning how to deal with a big, scary world, but it seems that he is more aware of the light and darkness in the world.

Malcolm seems to be less sensitive to physical stimuli, but seems to have similar sensitivities to emotion and relationships. Being hit is less about the physical pain and more about about the affront to his person. He defines books and stories by the emotions in the pictures. So we have an "UhOh book" and he flips between "happy" and "sad" pages. He also is able to read people around him and he loves to make people laugh and smile. But because he can read people, I've watched him play them to get what he wants.

The strength of these attributes has triggered questions about my job as a parent. But there are other things playing into those questions too. I will have to process them some other time.

Unity and Division

This blog post about the Reformation has gotten me thinking. I recommend reading the entire post, but the gist of it is that when we focus so much on the Reformation, we loose sight of other things. He says that probably a lot of what we consider to be fact is actually folklore. And that perhaps the division of the church that happened because of the Reformation is something we ought to repent of, rather than celebrate.

As I was mulling this over, Philippians 2:1-4 came to mind:

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Doesn't that mean, if we claim to be united with Christ, then we are challenged to be united with all others who claim to be united with Christ.

This made me think of many of the other divisions in the church - divisions because of heresy, the Great Schism, the political intrigue and confusion of the Holy Roman Empire and its successors, the Reformation, the various branches of Evangelicalism, the divisions in the Episcopal church, etc. 

I firmly believe that it is right to take a stand for God's Truth, but perhaps rather than celebrating the divisions that it causes, we should be grieving over our disunity. Perhaps instead of cheering on the side we agree with we should be mourning the side we don't. Instead of condemning the dissenters,  perhaps we should create an atmosphere where questions can be asked and answers discussed. But then I wonder if there is even a there a way to do that?

It seems rather beautiful that the day after Reformation Day is All Saints Day. One day we celebrate keeping the church pure even if it means division. The next we celebrate the unity of all those who believe in Jesus Christ. Maybe in the juxtaposition of those two celebrations, we can find Holy Unity in the face of Unholy Division.

Silence

Silence beckons me.
The stillness and quiet call to my soul.

But I answer, Let me first
Tend to my children
Wash the dishes
Tell a story
Clean the floor

And still Silence calls.

I have so much to do
And I am not doing it
I'm wasting my time
Wasting my life
Meandering in my mind

What is that quiet voice
Threatening to overturn my plans
And upset my day.
Silence beckons me.
I will be still.

Drama Love

We finished drama classes with a showcase. It wasn't a full performance because we only worked on the specific pieces for a three weeks. We used our scripts and tried to use some vocal expression as well as basic movements. So we didn't create what I would call great art.

But I have been thinking a bit about what it means to be an artist. There is an aspect of creating something. There is the connection between the created thing and the artist. But the audience also puts something into the creative process. The experience of a piece of art depends on all those things, so each person will experience something different. But somehow art is a universal language. It touches us and makes us feel things in ways we don't understand.

As I think back over the drama class, there are many things I would do differently. It was a learning experience for me as well as them (I hope). But the beautiful piece of art that we created was not a performance or show, but the simple relationships that were formed. I prayed again and again that God would enable me to see them as He sees them. And if this love I have for them is even a tiny bit of how much God loves them, how great is His Love!

So our performance may not have been masterful, but the real artwork was in the relationships that reflected God's Love. And I think, that is near the heart of what it means to be an artist.

NaNoWriMo and 100 Words

November is National Novel Writing Month, among other things. Since I don't have time to write a novel in the month of November, I am going to attempt another round of 100 Words. Part of me says this is crazy, but the other part is counting on the creativity feeds creativity trade off, so even if I don't end up writing everyday, I will at least be doing something creative every day. I also discovered the last time I tried it, that planning to write every day was actually easier than planning to write once or twice a week.

Whenever I start something like this, I always wonder, do I really have thing to say that anyone will want to read? I am being egotistical by putting my meandering thoughts and attempts at creativity in a place that anyone can read them, as if I have something to offer to the world? But then I also think that whether or not anyone reads what I write, the process of writing helps me think about things and
"get my head on straight." And I have been thinking about and meditating on a lot of things recently, so it is time for me to get them out of my head.

Of course, if anyone wants to join me in this challenge, I would be delighted. Let me know where I can find your 100 Words and I will read them! And if you want a greater challenge, go sign up for NaNoWriMo!