I posted it as the Outcasts Draft 1. Feel free to comment on it.
Now that I have had a chance to set it aside and work on a few other things (like Christmas Programs, Christmas Plays, laundry, etc) there are plenty of things I want to change.
1. My biggest question after reading it is, "what is the point?" I know that stories don't have to have a lesson or a moral or anything like that, but they are better stories if they have a point to them. Currently it is just a journey story, but the purpose of the journey and the result of the journey aren't really addressed. There is a bigger world in this story and I have made up lots of back stories and related stories, but they need to enhance this story, not become their own thing yet.
2. I like these characters. They have played around in my head long enough that I really like them. But they tend to be a little one dimensional and inconsistent. And writing dialogue is really hard! It is hard to make people I really like do things I really don't like. I want them to be good and happy and make everything good and happy, but then I don't have a story. I kind of feel that is what happened in certain parts of this story.
3. The characters don't really have journeys of their own. I have been playing around with this idea a bit today and the story is taking a different shape, but the characters are more nuanced.
There are other things, like I am not happy with some of the writing style and such, but I have shared it for comments, feedback and such, hoping that it will help me create a better story.
