Malcolm turned Four

Baby Announcement Photo Shoot

Four years ago, the world was blest with a little bundle of creativity and energy. 

Approximately 6 months

We were blessed with a second child, an easier childbirth story, and sleepless nights for the next three and a half years. 

In Maine (9 months)

Affectionate, stubborn, contrary, and cuddly, he is full of conflicts and full of love.

First Birthday trip to the park

He has a great smile that lights up the room and a laugh that bubbles like a mountain brook.

He put his washcloth on his head, just because it made him laugh.

Although he likes and needs his alone time, he notices and cares for those younger than himself.

His favorite PJ's and NUK and blanket

He follows many of his brother's interests, like dinosaurs and superheroes, but brings his own perspective to each of them. Where Eamon has compassion on the underdog, Malcolm likes bringing down the oppressors.

2nd Birthday

He likes kicking the soccer ball around, throwing the frisbee, running, and most importantly winning.

Driving our neighbors car

He wakes up slowly and falls asleep slowly, wanting cuddles the entire time. 

With Samuel T. Bear, belonging to his Aunt Kate

He doesn't like other people to give him hugs, but when he wants to, he gives heart-and-soul hugs.

What a grin!

He has a sense of humor, a love for adventure, and crazy perspectives and thoughts similar to me.

He still likes to kiss my nose.

He needs his space and time, has an ear for music and stories, and likes fast cars similar to his father.

I love this picture of them both.

We love him lots!

The most recent picture I have, taken yesterday morning, of him being a cowboy, I think.

Monday Morning

What does a normal day look like?

I wake up, usually when Malcolm climbs into bed. I slowly pull my brain into consciousness with his soft breathing on my neck. The alarm goes off and I get up and turn it off. If he is still asleep, I get up. If he wakes up, or isn't in bed, I crawl back into my bed to check the weather, and any messages I might have gotten in the night. Then the morning starts.

The goal is to pack Thomas's lunch, put on water for coffee, set out breakfast, make coffee all before Thomas comes down. Sometimes that happens, but not usually. I'm still working in habit mode, being interrupted by the boys waking, playing, and fighting because they want to be left alone but play together at the same time. When Thomas comes down, we finish getting everything ready for breakfast, then eat, then he leaves.

Then I finish my coffee. I tell the boys I can't do anything with them until I finish my coffee. This isn't accurate in the sense of my ability; it is a bid for just a few minutes to gather my thoughts and figure out a rough sketch of the day - what needs to get done, what I want to get done, things to do with the boys, etc.

Then we get ready for the day, "morning routines" consist of getting dressed and brushing teeth these days. I have to work on putting making the bed back into the routine, but the bunk bed is harder for them to make. After that they play and I get to work on whatever chores I have planned for the day.

Usually around 10:30 things fall apart. Often I stop and we read a story. Sometimes I just send them separate ways. Sometimes we do a "school book" or sticker book or something educational. Then they play until lunch.

We try to eat around 12:00. Their lunch is usually Nutella and peanut butter sandwich, fruit, and chips of some sort. Sometimes we have a cookie or candy. Sometimes we add carrots. Around 12:30, I read to them a "chapter book." Recently we have been reading "Homer Price." They love it. So do I. They like it so much we went back to the beginning to read an earlier chapter just for the fun of it last night. Then around 1:00 we start a quiet time. The plan is always that they are quiet for an hour and I let them up by 2. However, they are never quiet. Around 1:30, Malcolm falls asleep. During this time, Eamon flips and flops in his bed, groans, talks, sings, does whatever he can to keep himself awake. I remind him that if he can lay still for 15 minutes, without making noise, I will let him up. He rarely lasts long enough for me to count to 10 in my head. After Malcolm falls asleep, I work with Eamon to calm himself down, control his body, and be still. This usually takes until 2. If I'm lucky, he falls asleep. If I'm not, then from 2-3 he has to "occupy himself" while I do the dishes or clean vigorously to release the stress built up from trying to help him rest. This usually means I am interrupted every 5 minutes with a complaint, a request for technology, or him whining about something. Whatever has happened earlier, I wake everyone up around 3.

After naps is snack and they play some more. Around 4:30, everything falls apart again. Usually because Eamon didn't take a nap is being bossy and everything has to be his way and can't cope with anything. Thomas calls around 5:00 while he drives him so we get to talk before he gets home because once he does get home, we usually don't get to say much to each other beyond, "Hi" without being interrupted until after dinner. I try to have dinner ready by 6, but sometimes it isn't until later.

If they are going to take a bath, we try to start around 7. If not, then we play or read until 7:30. Bedtime routines are pi's, teeth, reading, prayers, songs in bed, if I can manage. Then I sit with them for a few minutes, and then go do something brainless for a little while.

In the evenings, I either read or try to do something creative to refresh my brain for the next day. I tend to work on creative projects in spurts until I get stuck, then I switch projects. So yesterday I worked on a sewing project, but I got stuck, so it will probably sit around until I can figure out where to go next with it. In the meantime, I might color or write. And when I am feeling like I can't stand anything anymore, I clean or go through stuff and organize.

I'm writing this down now because I have been realizing that this routine is coming to an end. We are about to start a new phase of life - school - with a new routine, new priorities, new experiences. Moving will also give us changes in routine. But this is a special time of life, with its challenges and routines, and I want to remember it later.

Letter Update

Copied and edited from a letter to Mom and Dad while they were in England.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I have been struggling with prayer. Like talking to the ceiling prayer instead of talking to God. It has felt empty and pointless. But last night, I sat and thought again. I had been praying so hard for specific things that I had not noticed all the amazing other things that God was doing. Yesterday didn't go as planned, but because it didn't, I got to show God's love to K&K and GG, N&K, and even our neighbor Bob. (He has now met all of my family except Mom and Curt and he likes us. He wants all of us to move to our town. He keeps on pointing out open houses.) I was all discouraged because I was feeling overwhelmed by "my plans," but God took those plans and gave me something better. How many times does this happen, but I am still blind to it?

Saturday. N&K's move. K&K et all were going to come for dinner... So I decided to move the hutch into the kitchen. And switch the sewing table (matches the hutch, and extends to seat more people) with the kitchen table (came with the house). Thomas cleaned the bathrooms and helped. He was amazing but thought I was crazy for trying to get this done on today day. But the assessor is coming on Tuesday, I want it to look I like I have it planned. N&K asked if they could stop by for dinner so they didn't have to worry about finding food. I said of course, but they were late, so we ate without them. They came as we were finishing and ate up what was left and some stuff they had in their car. Eamon had started feeling sick around dinner. He threw up a little over an hour after everyone left. He didn't sleep well, and threw up another time in the night. He and I finally slept around 5 in the morning.

Sunday. Thomas let us sleep in. We didn't go to church. Eamon threw up again. Thomas had a migraine. I got a headache and lived in that sleep-deprived haze. We ate toast. I don't remember much more, except that we read book after book after book all day long.

Monday. Eamon was supposed to go for a ppd test for school, but he said that he thought if he got in the car, he would be sick. So I rescheduled, and the doctor's office was so nice about it. To make a long story short, GG ended up coming to our house around 10am. And she enjoyed the afternoon watching the boys play, looking at photo books, and napping. The only thing was if she woke up and didn't see anyone around, she came looking for someone. So don't think she got very rested.

In the meantime, my neighbor-friend texted saying that they were admitting her husband to the hospital for further testing. The cardiologist wanted to rule out anything heart related. But that meant my sister couldn't get ahold of her to drop off the bed that her sister-in-law had borrowed. So around 3:45, K&N dropped of the neighbor-friend's bed and my changing table in my basement. Bob, another neighbor, helped unload it. As they were getting ready to meet up with my brother to switch cars (they had your van), his wife drove up to pick up GG. Bob, who used to work in ambulance services, helped us get GG out of the house and into the car. He made sure we followed proper procedures so we were all safe. As we got GG into the car, my brother drove up. Bob recognized him from when he delivered the pantry cupboard in his ambulance, so he felt that we were in good hands and went back home. Everyone switched cars back to their proper owners, and loaded up everyone, and around 4:40, I finally got to sit down with the boys and read the High Five Magazine that had just come in the mail. They kept asking me to read it to them while all this other stuff was happening. My sister-in-law said it better, but the gist was, even if the day was crazy, it is beautiful that we have a family like this, everyone helping each other out.

Then Thomas called and came home. We had rice and applesauce for supper, not sure if the grumbly tummys were due to exhaustion, sickness, or stress. It was probably stress and exhaustion. We slept hard all night and felt normal this morning.

Today, Tuesday, my neighbor-friend's boys are here until lunch. At 4:15, the assessor is coming. My house is, and will be, a wreck. My pride is pretty low because I wanted to look like I had my life together when the assessor and our landlords come. But you know, God's plans continue to be better than my plans. He doesn't seem to care that my life looks orderly or if I look like I have it together. I still feel like I am talking to the ceiling sometimes, but maybe it is because I am too blind and deaf to see and hear God. I think that is why I love the prayer,

"Almighty God, the fountain of all wisdom, you know my necessities before I ask and my ignorance in asking: Have compassion on my weakness, and mercifully give me those things which for my unworthiness I dare not, and for my blindness I cannot ask; through the worthiness of your Son Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen."


Love,
Carrie Joy

Tuesday, I cleaned the playroom, my bedroom, and the attic; vacuumed the downstairs, wiped down the bathrooms, and even read a story to the boys. The assessor was there for 15 minutes measuring rooms. The landlords seemed to like how we have cared for their house. And we grilled hamburgers and made s'mores over the charcoal grill for supper. I felt like SuperMom, but I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.