Honesty

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
~Jeremiah 17:9

In Kindergarten, we have been talking a lot about our hearts. Our hearts control our actions (Luke 6:45) , our hearts are completely sinful (Romans 3:9-20), and our hearts can be cleaned by Jesus (Romans 3:21-25). As I was talking with my sister yesterday, more things came up.

The heart is deceitful. That means we are liars. It is obvious in my students. They come in from getting a drink and their faces are all wet, "I was just sweating a whole lot;" or "He hit me!" when they were playing tag. It is a little less obvious in the older grades. They act as though they love the class while in front of the teacher, but then gripe up a storm when they leave the classroom; or they work quietly when there is a teacher present, but are rowdy in the hall. (My classroom is across from the boys bathroom; they come out and see me standing at my door and act as if they hadn't just been yelling and goofing off.) Obvious or not, they are all lies.

But lying isn't just blatant not telling the truth. Lying is anything that isn't the truth, more acurately, lying is anything that isn't God's Truth as revealed through His Scriptures and His Spirit. That means whenever I am speaking and it isn't God's Truth, I am telling lies. My heart is deceitful. My heart controls what I do. As a result, I tell lies all day long. It is disgusting.

Here is an example. I am offended because someone didn't handle things the way I thought they should be handled, and it excluded me from influence, though I had been involved. What is the truth here?
~I thought my way was right Biblically and practically.
~I should have been part of the choice, but I wasn't.
~I am offended.

But is that all? What about the truth that God is good, and that He is intimately involved in the happenings of my life? What about the truth that says God is working for good - for all who believe in Him - not just me? What about the truth that says I am not in control of the situation? What about "The heart is deceitful..."?

When I tell myself the truth in clarifies that I am offended because my pride was hurt. I can take that to Jesus and He can help me there. It means that I can say, "This choice wasn't about me." I may have had a wonderful, Biblical idea, but when it comes down to it, it wasn't the moral aspect of the choice that offended me. The Truth is that I had made myself god, and it wasn't working.

I need to speak Truth. I need to speak it to myself. I need to hear every day that my heart is sinful, that I would rather be god then let God be God, that I tell lies because I don't love the Truth most. I need to hear that because of my sin, Jesus died on the cross, because He wanted to be close to me, because He loved me. I need to hear that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6), and the Truth will set you free (John 8:32).

I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on your laws.
I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free.
~Psalm 119:30,32

I am alive

It seems that it has been ages since I have sat down to really write anything or look at anyone's blogs so sorry about the lack of communication. I have been sick, but yesterday I felt much better and today was really good. The last few days I felt sick when I ate anything, and didn't feel hungry at all. I was hungry at snack and at lunch and after school!

Today in Kindergarten we talked like a pirate to celebrate "Talk Like A Pirate Day." We did handwriting in pirate, played a Pirate game (not like games pirates would play, but a game about pirates), and read a very politically incorrect pirate story. It was very cute to see a little "princess girl" talking like a pirate and doing quite well.

On Thursdays, a high school girl comes in to Kindergarten as an aide. After lunch last week, when the student came back to the room, one boy said to me, "Look, there is your servant." I said she wasn't my servant, but my aide. He responded, "Yeah, your maid." We cleared that up, and fortunately my aide wasn't offended, but greatly amused.

All the teachers got two-way radios, so this is "Kindergarten signing off."

I don't wanna go back to school!

After four days of Kindergarten, I am tired of school. No one lets me go first or listens to me. They don't color very nicely either. And rest time isn't long enough. We learned Ii and Uu, but everyone forgot them today. The kids are really noisy too.

It will get better, I know. I will learn to love Kindergarten, again. Last year I thought the kids didn't know anything. This year I feel like the parents don't know anything, I mean about school and kids. Tomorrow is Parent Orientation. They need it. I need it too.

I still don't have a play selected, and I don't have a lot time to look. In fact, I need to go do lesson plans so I can be ready to leave soon.

Love to all my faithful readers. Even more love to all my faithful commenters.... hehehehe

Ros

Yikes!

Tomorrow is the first day of school! I don't know if I am ready or not. I hope so. Currently my desk is clean (wonder of wonders) but my students' desks are covered with projects. I am working on lesson plans, remembering how awful the first day has been. Once lesson plans for tomorrow are done, I will clean off desks, put name tags on them, vacuum the floor, and then I think I will be physically ready.

I took a nap today, and I hope to get a good nights sleep tonight. Before bed, I plan on packing my lunch and ironing my clothes for tomorrow, to ease first day jitters. I will have my lesson plans on my desk when I get to school, which I hope to do just a little early. Once I review my plans, I hope to be emotionally ready.

I have been praying all day. I got to school and someone was playing the hymn, "I Need Thee Every Hour." I spent some time in Narnia, renewing acquaintance with Aslan. I have been reading "Humility" by C.J. Mahaney and working my way through Colosians. I hope to be spiritually ready.

But when it comes right down to it, it isn't about what I have or haven't prepared. Whether or not the day goes well from my point of view doesn't even matter so very much. What does matter is that God has everything under control. By his grace, I have done my part; He'll take care of the rest.

So I guess I am ready.