Monday, May 01, 2017

Window Shopper

I posted another story.

It feels dangerous posting stories because they aren't done. I read them and see all the things I want to fix, but each little change changes everything else.

The verb tenses are all messed up in Window Shopper. I wanted to convey a sense of urgency and immediacy when I started writing it, but then the tense changed. I haven't figured out a way to keep the immediacy and the proper tense. So, here is another imperfect part of me for you to enjoy and offer your remarks and edits.

It's inspiration was a dream. In the dream a man was walking down a snowy street and picks up a lady's wallet, returning it to her after stealing all its contents. In the dream, he returned the money, but she gave it back to him.

When I tried writing it down, that scene fell apart. In one draft the man threw the money down feeling patronized and judged. In another, he gave it to a person who needed it more. But none of those ideas felt right. Then when I switched perspectives to the woman, things fell into place.

By the way, the flower fairy referenced is this one by Cicely Mary Barker.

1 comment:

  1. It has been updated with better verb tenses and a few alterations.

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