I got to act!

Last week was our final tour drama production. Because of conflicts in schedules, three of my actors were not able to make it. Two had reading parts, and my lovely props and costume assistant and I were able to cover those parts. One of them was an actor. And she happened to play some of my favorite parts, though I think I would say that about all of the parts. When she told me that she couldn't do it, I was initially panicked, thinking I would have to reschedule or cancel performances. But instead, I was able to act those roles.

Before every show there are a few nerves. Will everyone remember everything? Where will I be needed most? Will I get to sit back and enjoy the show, or have to jump up and step in somewhere? Will ___ finally get those lines that he always misses? But before this show, I had nerves that I haven't felt for ages. I had only had a chance to go through it with the actors twice. I wasn't positive I had all my lines. I didn't know how I was going to read and act. I worried that it would be too much like the "ME SHOW."

But once it started, the familiar took over and all went smoothly. The cast all pulled together so well. They covered for my mistakes. (I forgot a line and jumped on top of one of their lines.) And best of all, I felt the connection that I love about acting.

There was the connection with the audience...seeing their thoughtful gazes, hearing their laughter, feeling their interest in the story we were telling. And there was the connection with the other reader...quick glances to make sure we were together, reading each others movements to know when to stand and who would move the props. And there was the connection with the actors.

That is where I get most touched. I worked with these kids to open up with each other, to share, to listen, to be present, and so on. I got to see it happen as they got better and more comfortable with themselves on stage. And that night I got to feel it. They were listening to me and my subtext. They were getting energy from my performance and giving it right back. They understood a bit more about who we were being together. And it was beautiful.

I'm not sure if the acting was amazing or anything like that, though I think it was probably one of our best performances. But I try so hard to give these kids a safe place, a place where they are loved and approved of, a place where they can grow and share and learn and ask questions and feel. I try to build a safety net for them, so they know that when they fall, it won't change my love and appreciation for them. And that night, I knew they understood it because they gave that place of safety right back to me. When I made a mistake, they covered graciously and didn't think anything of it. They listened, they waited, they pitched in to help, they were part of a team, each of them making the whole stronger. (As as side note, the actor who was unable to be there got to "direct" me as I practiced filling in for her, another really neat connection.)

I am so thankful for them, and their parents, and the opportunity to act with them. I can't wait to do it again.