My Mothers' Day began at 2:15 with one baby having a croupy cough and the other sitting on my bladder. On waking up, one of my first rational thoughts was, "Happy Mothers' Day to me." The day continued in this vein, and though I would rather have had a little more sleep and a little less crying (from the boy, not me) it wasn't a bad day.
Thomas took the boy down to the freezer to breathe cool moist air. Then I took him to the couch. We cuddled and wiggled and realized that there was no position that both of us were comfortable. I can't lay on my back because my hips get so sore or he sits on top of his brother. And he can't get comfortable when I am laying on my side - he is either falling off the couch (due to my belly) or falling behind the cushion. Finally I propped him up at one end of the couch, so he could breathe and be upright, and I curled up at the other end, with one leg making sure he wouldn't fall of the edge. It almost worked until a coughing fit woke him and he wanted more cuddles.
He seemed to be breathing better so I took him back to bed to see if laying down with us would work. It didn't. After about half and hour, he began to fight sleep and us, so we reassured him we loved him and tossed him into his bed - ok, gently placed him, but he acted as if we had tossed him in - for about 15 seconds. Then he calmed down and was asleep in 10 minutes. We felt a little silly for trying to coax and rock him to sleep. I checked the clock when he got quiet. It was quarter to 4.
The alarm went off at 7:30. We didn't get up. We assumed that he would wake up within the half hour, as he usually does, but and hour and a half later we became fully conscious and realized we had an hour to get out the door. We managed to do it in an hour and 10 minutes, so we were late for church and missed singing "And Can It Be." Eamon was no longer croupy, but had a very runny nose. We left quickly and Thomas took me out for lunch.
Of course there was a long wait to be seated, and a longer wait for food. Eamon got increasingly grumpy during the wait. By the time food got to us, Eamon had had it. He ate three grapes a bit of toast and drank some juice. Then he fell asleep on my lap. He slept through the ride home, and instead of trying to get him to his crib without him waking up (which rarely works) I stayed in the car with him and took a nap. After sleeping for a little while, I was able to sit and watch the clouds and listen to the wind and feel the weight of my pencil in my hand, though I didn't write anything. I thought that I am not very creative right now - as far as stories and poems are concerned - because those things require sitting still and letting my mind and soul be still too, and I rarely have time to do that. It was very refreshing.
However, after about an 1.5 hour nap, Eamon woke up grumpy. He wanted to play in the car. He wanted to stay out side. He wanted his daddy. He didn't want his diaper changed. He didn't want to eat Cheerios. He wanted to watch videos of music and lions. Finally I thought to ask him if he wanted a sandwich. That was what he really wanted. After that he became much happier and played and looked at books with his daddy and I washed the dishes.
Unfortunately as the sun began to set, he began to breathe heavier again. He didn't want to eat his supper, but he couldn't really rest without coughing. He was so sleepy by this time that he kept cuddling into Thomas and I, but he was so miserable he would wake himself up. We tried a steamy room and a bath and got him ready for bed. By this time, we were beginning to get worried about how hard he was working to breathe. But as he relaxed while we read the Bible, I thought he began to breathe a little easier. We watched Star Wars: A New Hope with him falling asleep in the middle of it, waking up occasionally with terrible coughing fits. He has now been laying in his bed for about half an hour without a coughing fit and without waking up. He is still breathing faster than usual and there is a rattle in his throat, but I think he sounds better, though, I am not sure.
So Happy Mothers' Day to me. There is still and hour and a half before it is over, and I hope to be sleeping soon. I was thinking that although it wasn't a day where I got a break of any sort, where I called my mom about Eamon and forgot to wish her a happy Mothers' Day, and where we forgot to call Thomas's mom at all, I was reminded how much I am needed as a mother. My babies need me, and love me because I am there for them when the need me. I trust that that love will grow and develop as they grow and develop, not so that I get a break, but so that they understand that my love is just a little picture of how much God loves them. He is there when we need him; he holds us when we cannot sleep; he whispers his love in our ears when we are crying; he provides our little (and big) needs. And he always will.
And a big thank you to our mom's who have pictured God's unfailing love for us. Happy Mothers' Day. We love you!
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