Grace

I wonder, is it possible for a person to be non-judgmental? And is that a trait worth striving for?

I want to be a person who is safe to talk to, someone who lets people be themselves around me, someone who accepts others where they are in their journey of life. But I also want to be a person who encourages others to be better, more charitable, filled with joy in Christ.

I have thought that the way to accomplish this is to be non-judgmental. I don't mean lacking conviction or even "Do what is right for you," but rather "I will love you no matter what choices you make in your life."

I realized recently though that I need a different word for what I mean. And after a conversation with a friend, I think I have discovered the one I am looking for: Grace.

In theology, "grace" has a certain meaning, and in etiquette has another meaning, and in movement yet another meaning. So what exactly am I referring to? I mean the grace that points to Jesus to let him do any work rather than me pointing out the problems. I mean loving a person even when I disagree with the choices they make. I mean taking the blame for situations and miscommunications that aren't completely my fault. I mean accepting a person as they are. But that isn't the entire meaning.

There is a part of grace that points out faults and sins without making the person feel condemned. There is a way to disagree and persuade without making the other person feel dumb. There is away to take responsibility for problems, but also ask the other person to accept responsibility for their part of the problem. This is the part of grace that I am no good at. I want to be able to do this. I want to encourage people, not just so that they feel good, but in ways that lead them to Jesus. I want to know how to say hard things in loving ways. I want to help people be who God made them to be.

I think a lot of my problem lies in not seeing the grace found in Jesus extended to my life. The more I see Jesus' work in my life, I will be able to let him work in others' lives without getting in the way, but rather assisting his work.

So instead of working at not being judgmental, perhaps I should start paying attention to the work Jesus is doing in my life, and seek him so that he will keep working.