We watched Daniel at Sight and Sound on Tuesday.
As we stood in line, a lady a few people ahead of us began to insist that the rest of her group join her, instead of waiting later in line. This makes sense to me, and I have no problem with it. However, the aggression and insistence with which she made this demand was a little startling.
But I didn't have time to consider it much because a little boy from a family behind us had joined the boys and I. As his mother said, as she apologized defensively, he was probably, "leg-following." I said that it was no bother, and jokingly added, "I just counted to three instead of two." She turned away and wouldn't make eye contact, but instead scolded her son for wandering off, even though it was only two steps. Again I was startled by how the stress of entering the theater was affecting people.
These were only the examples in the line. Throughout the visit, I saw similar passive aggressive or slightly rude encounters from the guests around me. It was as if they expected the world to revolve around them and they were going to ensure that they had a "good time" by demanding everything to go their way. I felt bad for many of the employees; they had their guards up, and though they were incredibly polite, they looked on edge and unwilling to get involved. After talking with some of the employees (my sister-in-law works there, so I was introduced to a few friends), being yelled at by a guest was not an uncommon experience.
I was shocked. Perhaps it is because usually when I smile and comment kindly, I receive pleasantness, gratitude, or even friendliness in return. Perhaps it is because I focus my attention on making human connections. Why, at Sight and Sound, was there a large percentage of people who seemed resistant to generosity of spirit, or perhaps they were surprised by such goodwill? Why did we observe such aggression and unkindness? Was it the stress of waiting in line? Being worried about not getting a seat? Is this something that is unique to Sight and Sound? Is it a local phenomena? It is the "tourist mindset"? Could their be something within modern Christianity itself that fosters this entitlement attitude?
I must add that these observations were not universal. Not everyone displayed this defensive or aggressive attitude. In fact, most of the people were indifferent to the other people around them. However a few people seemed to be actively resisting the stress with pleasantness. I thought the security guard looked tired, especially when the ladies in front were surprised that they had to open their purses, even though the sign clearly said that all bags would be searched. But when I held out my small bag, smiled, and thanked him for his work, he also returned the smile as he waved us through, instead of looking past us as some of the other house-workers did. Also, I saw a man and several children waiting beside the line. They looked relaxed, and happy to be there. I smiled at them, and they smiled back. I saw them several times throughout the visit, joined by a woman and several more children. Even when there were people pushing to get back to their seats during intermission, they didn't look particularly stressed. They moved through the crowd calmly and patiently and even with a smile.
I have two conclusions from my observations. First, usually you get out of an experience what you take in. If a person takes in stress and a determination to demand an amazing spectacle, they will get stress and an amazing spectacle. But they will also color the experience for the people around them. However, if a person takes in peace and the determination to enjoy whatever comes their way, they will get something to enjoy, and will be able to color the experience for the people around them. The people who don't bring a strong attitude will be colored by the people closest to them. Therefore, to create a positive experience both for you and others, you must take in a determination to be generous, gracious, and thankful for whatever comes your way. If it isn't a conscious choice, you will be colored by the people around you.
Second, the impact of a human connection cannot be underestimated. At the heart of human connection is an attitude that delights in other humans, or wants to make their life better, or encourage their heart for the journey ahead. There is a humility that is willing to see the good in messy people, including ourselves, and an acknowledgement that I can love because I have been loved. This perspective is difficult to maintain and will be under constant attack, but it is worth fighting for in our personal lives, as well as our organizations.
It is my opinion that the administration at Sight and Sound could benefit from examining the difference between "making a human connection" and "putting on a show" at all levels of the experience. "Putting on a show" puts up walls, may create a temporary positive feeling but leads to no future change, and encourages further self-centered demands. It believes that even if we don't feel perfect, we have to act perfect so we don't get negative consequences. It cannot admit the need for help. There is very little choice, which means there is very little change or growth. The only thing that matters is how we appear in this moment.
"Making human connections" reminds us that we are one part of a bigger world. The way we act affects those around us either positively or negatively. It also reminds us that we have a choice, which means we can change and grow. It admits we need each other. We can look through a person's behavior and see that they are humans just like us, with good moments and bad moments. We can show love and grace through the bad moments, and encourage the development of better choices. But because this is so difficult and will be under constant attack, to do it well as an organization, everyone needs the support from further up the organizational chain.
Developing human connections would improve the customer (and employee) experience, but it would also improve the show itself. But that is a matter for a different post.
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