Spirit of God

We sang this hymn on Sunday and it has been an encouragement ever since.

Spirit of God, descend upon my heart;
wean it from earth; through all its pulses move;
stoop to my weakness, mighty as thou art,
and make me love thee as I ought to love.

I ask no dream, no prophet ecstasies,
no sudden rending of the veil of clay,
no angel visitant, no opening skies;
but take the dimness of my soul away.

Has thou not bid me love thee, God and King?
All, all thine own, soul, heart and strength and mind.
I see thy cross; there teach my heart to cling.
O let me seek thee, and O let me find.

Teach me to feel that thou art always nigh;
teach me the struggles of the soul to bear.
To check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh,
teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.

Teach me to love thee as thine angels love,
one holy passion filling all my frame;
the kindling of the heaven-descended Dove,
my heart an altar, and thy love the flame.
~George Croly

There have been a few lines in particular that have stuck in my head.

"But take the dimness of my soul away" This is so often my prayer. I get so lost in seeing faults and weaknesses - both in myself and others - that my vision becomes clouded and I imagine those faults in God too. It sometimes seems I walk through days, and sometimes weeks, without my contacts in, where I never take time to be still before God. I may read and pray, but I don't really stop and be with God. That is when my eyes get most clouded. And then as we consider what we should be doing with our lives, I sometimes wish that we could have a sign, but this reminds me that often what we need most is right in front of us. We just need the dimness of our soul taken away.

"And O let me find." It so often feels that I pray and pray, but my words get stuck in the ceiling, so it is fitting that this line is followed by a verse that ends, "teach me the patience of unanswered prayer." I want God to be near me, and I know he is, but I don't feel him. I can't see him. But perhaps it is more often true that I don't pay attention to him. Maybe if the dimness of my soul was taken away, I would see how close he was. Maybe I would know his presence.

This leads to the last verse. I want to be filled with God's love, burned up by him. As Hwin said to Aslan, "I'd rather be eaten by you than fed by anyone else." I want to know that holy passion that could fill all my frame. This leads back to the beginning. I need the Holy Spirit filling me with God's love. So I sing the hymn again.

Spirit of God, descend upon my Heart.