With all the joys of teaching there are crazy days and lots of stress, but there is also sadness and grief. One of my students was removed from my class by her parents. I don't know why. Dad called, and they said everything was fine. But if everything was fine, why did the pull her out. She was a bad little girl. She lived as her own goddess, doing only and all that she pleased. I was trying a new tack consistently, and like all children played it to see how far she could push the rules, and after an OK day, then a really bad day, they decided to remove her from the school.
I know that I cannot doubt what I have done. I did it with a good conscience. I brought her God's Word. But I still question. What went wrong? Was it me? Did I offend the parents? Did I do something wrong? Are the parents concerned about the stress she causes me? Are they afraid of what I think about them? Did the child plead not to go to school? What happened? I want to know.
But God never promised that I would know all that I need to know. In fact those questions are probably part of someone else's story, as Aslan would say. This child is in His hands; her story is still being written. I just wanted our stories to overlap just a little longer.
I know how you feel. There are so many things about teaching that are completely out of my control. I work, and I pray, and I talk, and I correct, and I love, and I feel like I pour out my heart, and the results are not up to me.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for heaven, when my work will be over, and I will know how God used it. It is so hard now, not seeing clearly.
I'll be praying for you.