Spiritual Attack?

It has been a difficult few weeks. My brain can't seem to keep everything straight. At times, I couldn't even make lists to organize what I needed to do. Other times, I would spend so much time trying to get organized, only to find that I couldn't remember what I was working on. Sometimes it felt like I was moving slowly through deep water; other times it was more like a rushing current pushing me under. No matter how much I slept, I never felt rested. I got behind with all my house chores, and who knows how the play is coming?!

I discovered how much stress I carried over a false accusation based on misinterpretation of Thomas when it was all resolved, and the stress lifted.

I know I pick up on other people's stress, but sometimes I forget that the boys pick up on mine, then I pick up theirs, and it gets worse and worse, until we all realizing what we are doing.

Before 10am, I had received a notification that would require some big changes in plans for the play, and several little things that felt bigger.

I have had a head and chest cold since Friday. Although I am over the worst of it, I haven't been sleeping well, and still have a stuffy nose and couch.

In the middle of things not going as planned, criticism, and illness, it has sometimes felt like I was under attack. I am trying to serve God, remain humble before Him, and rely on Him for strength, so if things aren't going easily, it must mean that there are external forces that are trying to bring me down, right? 

Maybe.

It could be that there are spiritual forces that are attacking us, trying to hinder us from sharing God's love. But it could also be the internal struggle with sin and the physical result of getting sick. And either way, I guess it really is a spiritual attack. One of our prayers this past month said, "Keep me both outwardly in my body and inwardly in my soul, that I may be defended from all adversities which may happen to the body, and from all evil thoughts which may assault and hurt the soul." Because everything has a spiritual aspect, there is an eternal struggle going on at every moment. 

However, because I am finite, I cannot interpret my situation as though I understand the full spiritual significance of my struggle. Learning from Job and David, I can't assume that my discomfort means God's displeasure. And that the best way to join in the spiritual warfare is to admit my inability to do anything without God's grace, then begin to give thanks.

So I am thankful. I have an amazing group of friends and family who support me and are praying for me and the play. Several members of my cast helped out in amazing ways today. My sons have been so helpful around the house and so diligent with their work. My husband has listened to my processing and encouraged me in trusting God.

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18