Related but Disconnected Thoughts

The best leaders ought also to be the best followers. To be a good leader, you really have to be a good follower too. Following has to do with realizing I am not center of the universe, there is a leader over me, and I have to give up what I want for the sake of that leader's vision. If we can learn and understand that, we have taken a huge step toward being a good leader.

Maybe we should focus on accepting well-intentioned friendship, just as much as we focus on how to be a friend. There are lots of people out there that tell us what good friends are and what good community looks like. There are people who will advise what not to say to a grieving friend or how to be a friend to a person in crisis. But there are very few statements on how to receive unhelpful offers of friendship, what to do when a person tries to fix your problem, and what to do when people say hurtful things when you are already hurting. There ought to be a manual on "how to be a friend to people with a different friendship style than you."

Informality and authenticity are not the same thing. Formality could be the authentic way of showing a person how much you care about them, and informality could be an act. Formality and excellence often go hand in hand, but we shouldn't conflate the two. Some people prefer informality because it feels more "connected" and "real," but others find it to feel fake or inconsiderate. So formality and informality (in worship, in daily life, in relationships, in hospitality, etc.) are preferences we should be aware of not ideals to pursue.

Transparency is the new word for authenticity which was the new word for vulnerability. They are all trying to grasp at the attribute that allows other people to feel welcome, listened to, and not judged for being themselves. That means, Person A's perception of Person B's transparency has just as much to do with Person A's attitude and preference, as it does with Person B's actions.

As a Christian, the purpose of transparency is to display the image of God within us. Our sin and brokenness often hides or twists the true nature of God, just as it hides or twists who we were truly created to be. Our personality is not a filter that distorts that image of God, but is more like a prism that magnifies certain aspects of the image of God.

This connects to the Body of Christ and the Great Commission and church health and hospitality and homeschooling and my purpose in life, but I haven't figured that part out yet.