Setting the Table

 After three years, I finally finished Danny Meyer's Setting the Table. It tells his story as a restaurateur until the partnership with the Museum of Modern Art. Along the way, he shares the lessons he learned about leadership and hospitality.

I enjoyed reading his descriptions of delicious food and how he encourages people who love food to share that love with others. I appreciated his insights in to the way people work - not just "restaurant people" - and the common bonds we all share of enjoying each others company, with good food to help us out. And I agree with his perspectives on hospitality.

Early on he challenges the idea that, "the customer is always right." Instead of thinking about factual information being right or wrong, instead, hospitality listens to what the customer wants. But hospitality is more than service - the technical proficiency of getting good food on the table. "Service is a monologue... Hospitality on the other hand, is a dialogue." However, you can't get by with great atmosphere and listening to the customer, if you don't have the excellence of service to back it up. This chapter reminded me to strive for the best, never forgetting the individual.

I also liked his chapter on "Who Ever Wrote the Rule...?" In this chapter, he wrote about how context shapes expectations and possibilities. Listening to context and challenging the expectations fuels creativity. This chapter reminded me to keep my creativity rooted in the reality of the every day.

The chapter that resonated most was "The 51 Percent Solution" where he discusses people with a hospitality mindset. These are people who love to make other people feel welcome, who like things to be perfect, and who notice the little things. He describes five core emotional skills: optimistic warmth, intelligence (desire to keep learning), work ethic, empathy, and self-awareness and integrity. He argues that these five things can't be taught, but he and his team train themselves to see it in prospective employees, and develop it if it is at all present. I think I disagree with that assessment, but that is probably why I am in the business of education (developing skills and self-awareness) instead of the restaurant business.

There is so much more in the book. However, since it has taken me three years to finish - reading a bit here, re-reading a bit, reading a bit more, and so on - I don't have those things as fresh in my memory. The challenge of the book is to then apply his principles to other areas of life. Sometimes I do this naturally, especially when it isn't present. Often I can see what would be a better - or more hospitable - way to handle a situation. 

Interestingly, it often comes back to an idea from Miss Rumphius. "'But there is a third thing you must do, my child.' 'What is that?' I ask. 'You must do something to make the world more beautiful.'" Hospitality makes the world a more beautiful place. As it is applied to other situation, whether the home, or school, or church, that sphere becomes more beautiful. 

At some point, I would like to compare what I learned from Setting the Table with what I learned from Directing Actors. It has to do with listening, compassion, and love/passion/vulnerability. These things make a rich and beautiful life. Maybe when I can coherently pull those thoughts together, that will be my part contributing to the conversation around the table?