Rambling

Yesterday, I talked a lot. I don't usually talk that much, especially about the things I think and how I process my experiences. But yesterday I talked to three different ladies about a lot of things.

So, of course, as soon as I was by myself, I began to question. Did I talk too much? Did I give too much information? Did I share too much negativity and hurt? Did I listen enough? Should I have asked more questions? Should I have helped the people I was talking to make the connections I was making in my head? Did I say things that are going to haunt me later or that I will have to come back and apologize for?

And yet it was really nice to have someone listen to me process a bunch of things.

As I have been analyzing the conversations, I have thought these things:
Charity is best relationship builder: thinking the best things about people, rather than assuming the worst.
I am not as charitable as I wish I was, or as I want to be.
I have a lot of hurt and frustration that tends to stay hidden under a false pretense of charity, but only when I am "joggled" do I have a chance to really show the love of Christ - forgiving those who have hurt me.
I am incredibly defensive when someone attacks a person I love. Even though I have felt like a mediator in many relationships, sometimes it is more like being caught in the middle. It is hard not to take a criticism of a person I love as a personal criticism.
Action matters, but it isn't alone. Motivation matters, but it isn't enough to "mean well." How it is perceived matters; I can mean well, perform an action, but if is is not perceived accurately, then miscommunication enters the picture. Charity has to reign through all those aspects. In my actions, in my motivations, and in my interpretations of what other people are doing, charity must have the final word.
What do I mean by Charity? The last two definitions on Dictionary.com summed it up perfectly: 6. leniency in judging others; forbearance. 7. Christian love; agape.

It all comes back to Love again.