Streams of Water

We had a series of rough days. I didn't realize until it was over that it was because I was fighting some sort of illness. One morning I woke up and didn't have post-nasal drip; I was not achy; I felt rested. I was able to look back on the time of exhaustion and see God's provision where I couldn't see it in the middle.

One day, a song popped into my head. It was from my childhood, listening to GT and Guardian:
So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

So I looked up the verse to find out the context. I didn't really find out much, but these verses (17-20) jumped out at me:
“The poor and needy search for water,
    but there is none;
    their tongues are parched with thirst.
But I the Lord will answer them;
    I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
I will make rivers flow on barren heights,
    and springs within the valleys.
I will turn the desert into pools of water,
    and the parched ground into springs.
I will put in the desert
    the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.
I will set junipers in the wasteland,
    the fir and the cypress together,
 so that people may see and know,
    may consider and understand,
that the hand of the Lord has done this,
    that the Holy One of Israel has created it.

I was poor and needy and felt like no matter what I did, there was no water. My soul was parched. And God was telling me that he would renew me. He would provide, not just a cup, but springs and rivers of water. Like Shasta and Bree finding a trickle of water in the desert, my spirit was lifted. Even though I didn't get to see the streams until a few days later, that trickle of Holy Spirit flowing, kept me following until the stream widened and I could drench myself in it.

What was it about those verse brought so much hope? It was the "I" - I the Lord, I the God of Israel, my God. There is no third person distance to him. He is first person, here with me, speaking to me, walking beside me. There is a relationship - He loves me. And I love Him too and will follow Him through the desert.

As a  side note, Sometimes I understand God better through my relationship with my husband. He is a quiet man, a great listener, and when he says things, it is often just the perfect thing. He is so great and know just what I need to hear and how to say it so that I can hear it. But sometimes I don't want to hear the perfect thing, I just want to hear something. I want him to talk to me, to tell me he is fully present and paying attention to me. But I realized that sometime my experience of God is similar. I want God to talk to me, to tell me he is with me and paying attention, but he is silent. He is there, fully present, but quietly walking beside me, holding my hand. And like my husband, he is telling me that he is there, but sometimes he doesn't use words; and I have to be fully present and paying attention to hear what he is saying.