I didn't want to go to church today and that got me thinking. We hear regularly that it should be a delight to spend the Lord's Day with His people. We are told that we ought be encouraged and convicted by the preaching of God's Word and refreshed by the worship of His Name. But I didn't want to go to church today.
It wasn't that I didn't want to be around people or hear preaching or sing or pray or any of that. I just didn't want to go out in the rain and be confronted by my grumpy, headache-y self every time someone said "good morning" to me. But we did go to church, and the Christmas ICS fellowship meal afterward. And it was good.
My headache did go away, although it is back now. I didn't stay grumpy. And it warmed up a bit so the rain didn't freeze when it hit the ground and windows. But what made it best was something that our pastor said in passing as an example of something, but I don't quite remember what.
He said that when his wife asks him to make her some tea, he doesn't think about how lazy she is or how disappointing for her to ask and not do it her self. He is delighted because now he knows how to show her that he loves her. He wants to show that all the time, but sometimes doesn't know how, so when she asks him to do something for her, he now knows how to love her.
The pastor went on with the sermon, but that little story changed my whole perspective on church. I don't come to church because it is good for me or reflective of my spiritual walk or anything like that. I go to church because that is one way I get to show God how much I love him. Church is not for me, but it is something he asks me to do, and because I love him, I want to go. But because God is wonderful, church is good for me and when I go to church for Him, I also benefit from it.
That doesn't mean I don't have problems with our church and some things bring weekly struggles with frustration and cynicism, but that is a result from living in a sinful world and "being transformed by the renewing of [my] mind." Circumstances won't really change that, and no matter where I go, I will probably struggle with frustration and cynicism.
But the really exciting thing is that whenever Christ's loving death for my sins is preached, my soul is moved to praise because I know that all my sins, and the sins of those I am worshiping with, are atoned for. Together we stand blameless before God, even if we don't agree in the way we worship together.
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