A Week of Much Stress and God's Grace

The stress started back at Easter when moving began to be a reality. It got worse as we moved, but Saturday, it finally hit me full force. I felt sick and crabby and depressed. There was a potluck and concert at our church, but I didn’t feel like going. However, after late nap, we ended up going to the concert anyhow, and it was worth it. Ange and Ris were wonderful and I got excited about music again.

Sunday was not stressful – well, yes it was, but it was a good kind of stress. We went down to Harrisburg to visit with some friends. We ate yummy food and saw the Harrisburg Symphony perform Dona Nobis Pacem by Ralph Vaughn Williams and Beethoven’s 9^th Symphony. It was amazing. I could gush at the beauty of the pieces and the thrill of seeing them performed live, but I would be unable to capture the wonder of it. Although we had to miss church it seemed as though we had worship service and a sermon in those pieces. Both concluded that peace is only found it God, and the music emphasized the various aspects of peace beautifully.

Monday’s schedule was all messed up because of a Christian school’s “Military Drilling Team” came to school. Their presentation was fascinating and the kids loved it. It was hard getting them back into the swing of the day though. Grades were due too, but mine were not done. My drama kids didn’t have their lines memorized, which caused a bit of stress.

Tuesday the grades were half way done and I was feeling pressured, so I wrote some emails that I have been meaning to write for ages. That didn’t help the stress, but I was glad to get it done.

Wednesday, I finished the grading during lunches, but need to tally them and write notes. I didn’t get it done before the end of school, so I got given a hard time about it. It doesn’t help that I have a student who never completes their homework and I was feeling incredibly guilty about holding him accountable, but not finishing my work on time. My drama kids did a great job at practice, but I only had four dedicated workers scheduled for rehearsal.

I finally turned in the grades on Thursday and began to worry about the play. That afternoon I had my fashion design lesson which was wonderful and encouraging, but I didn’t get other things done because of it. That night drama kids called to ask if the could miss rehearsal the next day. I am pretty sure I answered the way I should have, but before I could answer, I had to make many stressful phone calls.

And then came Friday. My kids were not bad, but they weren’t good either. They pressed the limits of my patience, but when I told them individually that they were doing what was wrong before God, not just because I said so, they apologized and stopped. They gave great hugs too. However, more drama kids missed than I had planned and several of those who did come didn’t have their lines memorized. We therefore could not really work on anything I had planned on working on and by the end it felt like a wasted rehearsal. I was pretty depressed and ready to quit entirely, but Keith said there was hope for a good performance and encouraged me to press on. Thomas let me take a nap. Then I was happy and we had dinner with Keith and got ready for FISH (Fellowship In Songs and Hymns), which was absolutely amazing. There were drums and a tambourine and a harmonica and my flute and Keith’s mandolin and guitars and lots of voices all praising God together. That was thrilling too.

Saturday, I began to sort out some of the drama things and I unpacked my kitchen. Both helped my stress levels. And Sunday was a great time of worship and refocusing. I meditated on Psalm 107 before the service started and the encouragement from God’s Word continued. In the afternoon, I made spaghetti and wrote thank-you notes for many of the moving help. We had ensemble practice, which was good. Then we celebrated the Lord’s Table.

The funny thing about the stress this week was that even during the worst parts, I was acutely aware that God was in control and He loved me and was doing all this to make me more like Him. I wanted the nasty stuff to go away, but I wanted to be holy, and I knew I needed all that He was bringing my way. I can look at the issues that are still unsettled and say with confidence, God has a plan that is better than my plan, so I can trust in that plan and do my best with what I know. Nothing has really changed. The house is still a crazy mess, drama kids still don’t know their lines, and lesson plans still need to be done. But enough got done for the week, and I can face this new week with excitement and hope because God doesn’t change and God is good.

God be with you.